How to Write a Business Proposal That Wins Clients: Lessons from the Body Fix Coach
Writing a business proposal isn’t just about describing what you do. It’s about persuading someone to buy from you—to choose you over the competition. And yet, so many small businesses fall into the trap of writing proposals that feel more like “all about me” brochures.
In this blog (and video), we explore how to write a winning business proposal through the real-world experience of James Bacon, aka the Body Fix Coach. James runs a successful sports therapy business from Grindhouse Gym in Burton-on-Trent and he recently came to Wordsmith Projects for help writing a new proposal for a Corporate Wellness Programme.
If you’ve ever wondered how to structure a proposal that lands work, this is for you.
Step 1: Start With Their Problem, Not Your Business
James’ original proposal, like many, began with a long introduction about himself and his services. It’s a common mistake and totally understandable.
But the truth is, clients care more about their own problems than your backstory.
The first page of your business proposal should identify the client’s pain point. For corporate wellness, that might be:
Increased staff sickness
Lost productivity
Musculoskeletal issues from sedentary work or repetitive movements.
Using big, bold statistics helps bring this problem to life and shows that you understand the challenges they face.
Step 2: Position Your Solution Clearly
Once you’ve outlined the problem, the next step is simple: explain how you can fix it.
In James’ case, his solution was a tailored Corporate Wellness sessions that could be hosted on-site or at his gym, combining physical therapy, exercise, and education. We worked with him to reframe this in a way that was:
Clear
Outcome-focused
Relevant to the buyer
The golden rule? Focus on benefits, not just features. How does your service solve the client’s problem?
Step 3: Build Credibility
After showing how you solve the problem, then introduce yourself. This is where you talk about:
Who you are
Your track record
Qualifications or accreditations
Testimonials and case studies
James had over 300 recommendations and great client results, including my own, he helped fix a long-standing issue caused by too much desk time!
These case studies are gold dust because they prove real-world experience. Share it.
Step 4: Keep It Punchy
A good business proposal doesn’t have to be long. For James, we recommended a five-part structure:
Hero page – Big stats and core problem
The offer – Clear, benefit-led solution
Your credibility – Who you are and your experience
Service breakdown – What’s included, how it works
Case study/testimonial – Real-world example to build trust
It’s about making it easy for the reader to say “yes.”
Step 5: Review your Business Proposal
Once your business proposal is written, ask someone not involved in your business to review it. They’ll help you check for:
Flow and readability
Clarity of your offer
Spelling or formatting issues
James wisely asked for help, and that one decision elevated his entire proposal.
Need a Bid Writer?
If you’ve been writing business proposals that start with “we” and don’t lead to work, it’s time to flip the script. Whether you’re pitching a new service, writing a bid, or trying to grow your client base, how you present your offer matters.
We are experts in bid writing and proposal writing. We know how to make small businesses sound compelling. Get in touch today and let us help you win you more work.
Watch the video to see the full conversation with James.
Download other free handy templates, tools and guides designed to make your life easier at www.wordsmithprojects.com/resources.